There are flights where I'm completely content with sparkling water and juice, but sometimes, there are flights where this is not the case and somehow think it's a good idea to try every alcoholic drink offered on the menu.
This was one of those flights, and unfortunately for these long haul flights, one can get hungover while still in the air and hours from their destination.
Here are some rules to have an enjoyable flight in these situations:
Rule #1, don’t get drunk on flights drink plenty of water prior to your flight and bring Advil with you on board to help you get over your inevitable head of hurt.
Rule #2, Champagne is always a great meal starter. Pair your wines with your meal choice - red with red meat, white with seafood/asian dishes. Always make sure you have at least two glasses. If you feel adventurous, try all reds and whites on offer.
Rule #3, when the cheese cart comes by and you can’t decide between port and scotch, get both. Flight attendants don’t normally offer scotch with cheese, but still shouldn’t stop you from asking for it. Just sometimes expect a look of scorn from the flight attendants for throwing a curve ball into their cheese service and having to walk back to the galley to retrieve your custom drink. This is more of an issue with American carriers, and is less likely to happen with Asian carriers.
Rule #4, by the end of the meal service, you should be sufficiently tipsy, or drunk if you knocked back a few at the lounge prior to boarding. Take this time to stumble your way around the entertainment system, find a boring movie, and pass out to sleep off your intoxication.
Rule #5, when you wake up several hours later either from strong turbulence, a need to use the lavatory, or a massive headache (I’ve always found correlation between how much champagne one has drank to headache intensity), retrieve your Advil, take one or two and wait for the fantastic numbness of Advil to overtake the throbbing head pain.
Now back to the point of this post… airplanes and food. United Airlines 862, today serviced by a 747-400 with tail N177UA for the flight between Hong Kong and San Francisco.
The 747-400 is a special plane to me that I feel is currently unmatched by any other plane on the market today. There are three aspects of this plane which make it a very special plane - a staircase, the upper deck, and the nosecone section.
First the staircase. How flipping cool is a staircase on an airplane? Walking up one on a massive aluminum beast is a special feeling. Even if I need to use the lavatory, I stray away from the ones on the upper deck - it gives me another opportunity to walk the stairs and stretch my legs.
Second, the upper deck. If I haven’t flown in the nosecone of the iconic 747, I’ve always been on the upper deck. It’s a quieter, less dense seat configuration. Plus, with united’s 747 fleet, the window seats have these massive bins beside the window. I can stick my carryon back inside these bins and have my items next to me for the entire flight. These bins also provide extra space to sprawl and stretch across as you see fit.
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| Big effing bins |
Lastly, the nosecone. The nosecone, more often than not, is typically reserved for the first class section on these aircraft. I’ve luckily been able to fly in the nosecone on United’s global “first” twice before, and here are the reasons why it’s the best section in any aircraft currently flying today. It’s quiet, you’re at the front of the plane far away from the engines. The windows curve forward allowing one to see somewhat forward. There’s such an amazing feeling watching the view outside as the aircraft banks on approach to land with all the window shades drawn up on a sunny day.
Now that we’ve gotten the airplane out of the way, let’s talk about the food.
As per rule#2, I started with champagne which came along with warm nuts with a pretty decent peanut-to-almond ratio.
Next came the appetizers - seafood, and a salad. Always a nice touch that United plates the salads in front of you. Having never really understood the name behind thousand island dressing, I decided upon the asian citrus vinaigrette. I’m also always impressed by the quality and freshness of the prawn, however, this one seemed below average in size compared to the mutants usually provided on the outbound UA869 to HKG.
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| Garlic bread, prawn, scallop, and a mixed greens salad. A nice starter. |
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| Closeup for the food porn enthusiasts |
Now onto the main, and where did this kind of selection come from?! Four, FOUR different choices?? Fantastic!! I decided to play it safe and go for the Beef but then again, I’m a red meat kind of person.
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| Looks pretty appetizing to me... |
I also just want to highlight one thing on my meal tray - the salt and pepper shakers. There’s a particularly popular Asian airline that removed their ceramic salt and pepper shakers due to proliferate theft from passengers. However, instead of replacing the seasoning shakers, this airline decided that no replacement were to be automatically provided with meal trays. Instead, one needs to ask for the seasoning which comes in a paper/plastic pouch - much akin to what one would receive at a fast food restaurant. Tsk tsk.
The main was adequate. Meat was edible, but tough and hard to cut with a fork - a trend i’ve noticed with united flights departing Hong Kong. Departing San Francisco however, the beef is quite the opposite - juicy and tender. Ah, yes, asparagus. Quite a common side with western dishes on planes, but always an awakening reminder of what one ate when using the lavatory hours later.
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| Can't forget the close up |
Now to the finish. Cheese with port, and later scotch with ice cream. By this point, the stewardess quirked that she was getting a hangover serving my diverse choice of drinks on this flight. Mission Accomplished.
New to me was the fact ice cream can be served with baileys, however after the aforementioned comment from the stewardess, I decided to forego the baileys.
So at this point, sufficiently tipsy, I put on my boring movie and drifted asleep, waking up hungry several hours later as scheduled and as expected, with a headache.
Pushed the call button, and magically, a few minutes later was served the “chinese style soup” which seemed like a clump of cold noodles plopped into a lukewarm broth with processed chicken. Yum…
I feel united does an adequate job with they lunch/dinner meal service, but somehow thinks that’s enough. If you’ve ever flown United regularly across the pacific, you’ll know the repetitive offerings for breakfast. Sigh. To “spice up” my breakfast relationship with united, I decided on the congee. A stark departure from my staple omelette.
And with the view of the California coast, concludes another safe and successful flight aboard the wonderful united 747-400.
Menu Pics - click to enlarge
